Bawling and Remembering What’s Important

Yesterday was rough.

I was cranky, the kiddos were still off-kilter from the lack of schedule over Yule and Christmas, the house was a mess…

Last night I was able to “gear down” and plan today and remind myself to respond not react.

This morning was a little bit of a challenge, as I woke up with a very distracting headache, but one of my kids helped me SO much by playing this song for me. It’s one I really like to listen to when I need to remember my priorities; I like to listen in the mornings, or when things get rowdy.

From what I understand, “Ronan” was a little boy who died of cancer and Taylor Swift wrote this song after reading his mom’s blog. I cry every. single. time I hear it, but it’s so good for me. I really cannot imagine going through watching your child die, and I want to see the precious in every minute I get with mine – even the hard ones!

New Song On My “Sanity” Playlist

The Mr. is an audiophile, so we pay for Spotify.

I’m not so much (an audiophile, that is), but it’s nice being able to play whatever song I want when the mood hits or when I have a memory of an old favorite that I want to share with my children. I’m also slowly creating mood-themed playlists when I’m feeling a want for more specific songs than Pandora provides.

One of them is titled “Sanity”, and I play it when I feel depression creeping back up on me. It helps way more than I thought it would! (I’ll share the whole list here if anyone is interested.)

This morning, Glennon from Momastery shared a song that I put on that playlist right away after hearing it. It definitely fits right in there, and reminds me of what I’ve learned and what ground I’ve gained lately.

Here’s the youtube “official video”, so that you can enjoy it too! (I toyed with posting the spotify player here, but it would require you to download the desktop software to play the song, and I didn’t want to do that.)

ps- DANCE!!

 

Morning Energy!

If you follow me on Twitter or read my tweets here on this blog, you’ll occasionally see something with #hellomornings in it.
What is that all about?
SO glad you asksed. :0)
I don’t officially “do” HelloMornings, as in sign up and have a team captain and all that, it’s a little too socially organized for me. But I definitely love the inspiration in the Maximize Your Mornings free ebook that gave birth to HelloMornings, and I enjoy occasionally interacting with others who are doing the same thing. Reading the ebook made a huge impact on me, in giving me courage to try. I had the ideals and hopes, alright, but just didn’t feel like I could do it. Kat (the writer at Inspired To Action, who put together all this) is so good at breaking things down into very manageable steps, and being so uplifting and encouraging without being saccharine and without using guilt or a superiority/inferiority ploy. That’s a gift, in my book, and she exercises it well. If you haven’t ever been to her site, I can’t recommend it highly enough. Inspired to Action is well named!
I’ve started Maximizing my Mornings over again several times, either after a new baby, a series of sickness roaring through our tribe of 9, other interruptions, or simply falling off the wagon. Every single time, I wonder why I thought it would be hard to start again! I’m at the victorious wrap-up of another “restart”, and loving it all over again. I have a list of things that comprise my HelloMornings:

What Will They Remember? and Am I Responsible?

I've heard it both ways:

"They (children, when grown) will remember the good."

"They will remember the bad."

So which is it?

My Daughter is: Learning to be Fearless

And I’m SO proud of her.
We put her in Public School for the first time this year, as a high school freshman, with many hopes and some trepidation. You can visualize how you want something to happen, and how you really think it will happen, but there are absolutely no guarantees, especially when you’re dealing with other people and their responses. So there was the “other person” of my daughter herself, and the 3000 some “other people” there at the school.
This is a post on her blog about her experiences and what she’s learning.
And I’m just HAPPY. And PROUD. 

Becoming Fearless in my World

Motherhood’s Near-Horrifying Responsibility

Goethe wasn’t a mother, but he nailed the essence of it in this quote. I haven’t researched what it’s from, or what his larger point was, and frankly, I’m not going to make time to do so, because of what the quote itself has taught me! If anyone knows and wants to share that knowledge with me, add it in the comments! 

“I have come to the frightening conclusion that I am the decisive element. It is my personal approach that creates the climate. It is my daily mood that makes the weather. I possess tremendous power to make life miserable or joyous. 

I can be a tool of torture or an instrument of inspiration, I can humiliate or humor, hurt or heal. In all situations, it is my response that decides whether a crisis is escalated or de-escalated, and a person is humanized or de-humanized. 

If we treat people as they are, we make them worse. If we treat people as they ought to be, we help them become what they are capable of becoming.”

Where is my “To-Do” List on my Priority List?

I am a bit list addicted…
I learned a while back that the best way for me to stop that droning litany in my head of what I have to do that so often drowns out the quiet little jewel-moments that creep up like little gifts, without demanding my notice or competing with the “so much to do, so much to do” is to make a list. Then I can banish the repetition and trying-to-remember from my mind and I am free to focus on those treasures that disappear so quickly as my children grow from one beauty to the next.
But then I fall into hyper-organizing my list, trying too hard to streamline, and complicating what is simple… I try to put it in order of priority, of time required, of oldest to newest… and in reverse. Sometimes I spit on my hands and make a list of things that “I *will* get all this done today”. And again I miss the moments of joy; in misapplied efforts to serve, I fail to enjoy those I want to bless. And what they really want, what they really *need*, is to be enjoyed.
I am learning to walk the line between two things I see as important.

Slowing Down, Choosing to See and Embrace the Moments

This morning I wake and get to choose again:
will I wake to the rush and the long long list of things I should get done, and will I listen to the ticking of the clock that whispers “hurry, hurry, so much to do, you’re getting behind…”
or will I wake to the chance to:
listen to my children’s hearts when they start their words with “Mama,”
hear the words of life as they dance before my eyes on the page that I am so privileged to own, and let them mold me
speak words of “I cherish you” instead of “this toilet needs scrubbing more than you need listening to”
ponder this gift called Life and all the rich depth it contains, which becomes emptier yet heavier when we aren’t looking into what it *really* is underneath all the dust that is layered on it by the daily bustle of carrying it around?

Can I worship God for the worm’s wings, yet unseen?

I’ve been blessed by Nick Vujicic over and over and over. Now here’s another one. A different sort of blessing than I was expecting, but one that I most definitely needed. Part 1 is here:

Butterfly Circus, part 1

and part 2 is here:

Butterfly Circus, part 2

Am I ready to rejoice in the miracle of the worm-become-cocoon in others’ lives, or do I hold my praise back for the butterfly only, and deny the majesty and awesomeness of the process of change?

The greater the struggle, the more glorious the triumph.

What does “Hosanna” mean? Do you cry Hosanna??

Another favorite. So TOTALLY “my song”. I’ll be singing this today, just in case you were wondering :0)