Blog Archives

It’s Not as Bad as it Seems (alternate title: yes, I am a wee bit dramatic)

As much as I loathe & despise the circus that passes for administration of our government lately, and no matter our opinion on this type of hunting (if it angers you, it IS worth researching that what, why, & how of it all, and to keep in mind that we must do the best we can with the mess we’re given),  it is worth it to look further than the headline and dig down far enough to look for what actually happened.

When I first saw the pictures and headlines (they were not from TMZ!- I have standards! 😂), I was sickened, I was saddened, I was disgusted, I was angry. I wanted to say “what do you expect with a last name like that?”

But I waited, I looked further. I’m glad I did. I still have opinions; on the “administration”, and on hunting ethics. But  I am reminded that things are not always quite as bad as they look.   And from that I am reminded that:

in the entirety of our lives, things are not always as bad as they look.

When I get a terse text response from my husband, things are not always as bad as they look. He is not angry with me; or disgusted with me; or wishing he hadn’t married me; or wishing I had never been born; he is very busy working hard to take care of me and my children and he doesn’t have time for a long flowery text!

When I realized that I scheduled a grocery pick up smack dab in the middle of my daughters photography class, things are not always as bad as they look. I am not going to be banned from ordering groceries online for pick up; I am not going to be excommunicated from the cult of Walmart; I am not going to have to skip the photography class and waste tuition money;  I can just reschedule my grocery pick up and wait a day or two for the bank to sort out which charges need to be refunded.

When I realize that I have completely lost the intentionality I used to possess in my ventures and have become lazy and I am allowing myself to be driven rather than taking control, things are not always as bad as they look.   Yes, I became lazy. But I have not ruined the rest of my life and the rest of my children’s lives; things are not so hopelessly messed up that there can be no recovery;  it is not time to give up in despair; I can start where I am, realize that just as I got into this mess gradually, I will have to take time and baby steps to get out of this mess  gradually;  I can start here, start now, and keep moving forward.

So I think my lesson to myself today is that I can always learn something from any given situation, no matter what my opinion of the characters in the situation is. I can always find ways to learn more, grow more, be better.  Maybe someday I will grow to be able to love those I despise.

(I see the arrogance and the ugliness within me that is at the root of me thinking I can despise anyone. I am not wallowing in that, or gloating in that, or thinking that it is right and good. I am confessing it honestly, and truly hoping I will grow beyond it.)

New Song On My “Sanity” Playlist

The Mr. is an audiophile, so we pay for Spotify.

I’m not so much (an audiophile, that is), but it’s nice being able to play whatever song I want when the mood hits or when I have a memory of an old favorite that I want to share with my children. I’m also slowly creating mood-themed playlists when I’m feeling a want for more specific songs than Pandora provides.

One of them is titled “Sanity”, and I play it when I feel depression creeping back up on me. It helps way more than I thought it would! (I’ll share the whole list here if anyone is interested.)

This morning, Glennon from Momastery shared a song that I put on that playlist right away after hearing it. It definitely fits right in there, and reminds me of what I’ve learned and what ground I’ve gained lately.

Here’s the youtube “official video”, so that you can enjoy it too! (I toyed with posting the spotify player here, but it would require you to download the desktop software to play the song, and I didn’t want to do that.)

ps- DANCE!!


Morning Energy!

If you follow me on Twitter or read my tweets here on this blog, you’ll occasionally see something with #hellomornings in it.
What is that all about?
SO glad you asksed. :0)
I don’t officially “do” HelloMornings, as in sign up and have a team captain and all that, it’s a little too socially organized for me. But I definitely love the inspiration in the Maximize Your Mornings free ebook that gave birth to HelloMornings, and I enjoy occasionally interacting with others who are doing the same thing. Reading the ebook made a huge impact on me, in giving me courage to try. I had the ideals and hopes, alright, but just didn’t feel like I could do it. Kat (the writer at Inspired To Action, who put together all this) is so good at breaking things down into very manageable steps, and being so uplifting and encouraging without being saccharine and without using guilt or a superiority/inferiority ploy. That’s a gift, in my book, and she exercises it well. If you haven’t ever been to her site, I can’t recommend it highly enough. Inspired to Action is well named!
I’ve started Maximizing my Mornings over again several times, either after a new baby, a series of sickness roaring through our tribe of 9, other interruptions, or simply falling off the wagon. Every single time, I wonder why I thought it would be hard to start again! I’m at the victorious wrap-up of another “restart”, and loving it all over again. I have a list of things that comprise my HelloMornings:
Read the rest of this entry

My Daughter is: Learning to be Fearless

And I’m SO proud of her.
We put her in Public School for the first time this year, as a high school freshman, with many hopes and some trepidation. You can visualize how you want something to happen, and how you really think it will happen, but there are absolutely no guarantees, especially when you’re dealing with other people and their responses. So there was the “other person” of my daughter herself, and the 3000 some “other people” there at the school.
This is a post on her blog about her experiences and what she’s learning.
And I’m just HAPPY. And PROUD. 

Becoming Fearless in my World

Motherhood’s Near-Horrifying Responsibility

Goethe wasn’t a mother, but he nailed the essence of it in this quote. I haven’t researched what it’s from, or what his larger point was, and frankly, I’m not going to make time to do so, because of what the quote itself has taught me! If anyone knows and wants to share that knowledge with me, add it in the comments! 

“I have come to the frightening conclusion that I am the decisive element. It is my personal approach that creates the climate. It is my daily mood that makes the weather. I possess tremendous power to make life miserable or joyous. 

I can be a tool of torture or an instrument of inspiration, I can humiliate or humor, hurt or heal. In all situations, it is my response that decides whether a crisis is escalated or de-escalated, and a person is humanized or de-humanized. 

If we treat people as they are, we make them worse. If we treat people as they ought to be, we help them become what they are capable of becoming.”

Where is my “To-Do” List on my Priority List?

I am a bit list addicted…
I learned a while back that the best way for me to stop that droning litany in my head of what I have to do that so often drowns out the quiet little jewel-moments that creep up like little gifts, without demanding my notice or competing with the “so much to do, so much to do” is to make a list. Then I can banish the repetition and trying-to-remember from my mind and I am free to focus on those treasures that disappear so quickly as my children grow from one beauty to the next.
But then I fall into hyper-organizing my list, trying too hard to streamline, and complicating what is simple… I try to put it in order of priority, of time required, of oldest to newest… and in reverse. Sometimes I spit on my hands and make a list of things that “I *will* get all this done today”. And again I miss the moments of joy; in misapplied efforts to serve, I fail to enjoy those I want to bless. And what they really want, what they really *need*, is to be enjoyed.
I am learning to walk the line between two things I see as important. Read the rest of this entry

Slowing Down, Choosing to See and Embrace the Moments

This morning I wake and get to choose again:
will I wake to the rush and the long long list of things I should get done, and will I listen to the ticking of the clock that whispers “hurry, hurry, so much to do, you’re getting behind…”
or will I wake to the chance to:
listen to my children’s hearts when they start their words with “Mama,”
hear the words of life as they dance before my eyes on the page that I am so privileged to own, and let them mold me
speak words of “I cherish you” instead of “this toilet needs scrubbing more than you need listening to”
ponder this gift called Life and all the rich depth it contains, which becomes emptier yet heavier when we aren’t looking into what it *really* is underneath all the dust that is layered on it by the daily bustle of carrying it around? Read the rest of this entry

Can I worship God for the worm’s wings, yet unseen?

I’ve been blessed by Nick Vujicic over and over and over. Now here’s another one. A different sort of blessing than I was expecting, but one that I most definitely needed. Part 1 is here:
and part 2 is here:

Am I ready to rejoice in the miracle of the worm-become-cocoon in others’ lives, or do I hold my praise back for the butterfly only, and deny the majesty and awesomeness of the process of change?

The greater the struggle, the more glorious the triumph.

What does “Hosanna” mean? Do you cry Hosanna??

Another favorite. So TOTALLY “my song”. I’ll be singing this today, just in case you were wondering :0)

Our Anniversary!

Today, 9 years ago, I married the most wonderful man on earth.
This morning, I woke up to the mix on my iPhone playing “our song”.
Again and again I choose to throw my arms open to Dancing in the Minefields.
Again and again Satan throws his flaming arrows, and tries to make me fear the Gift.
Again and again and **yet again** I choose to embrace the Gift.
That’s what the Promise is for.

love, The Happiest Wifey :0)

Here are the lyrics, for those of you (like me) that need to “see” the song: Read the rest of this entry