Of Hard Drives and Emotional Responses

Oh Joy. Delight. Rapture.
Not really, but I *am* pleased :0)
My hard drive in my cute little netbook that my sweet, generous husband bought for me has a bad sector, and about a month or so ago I (unhappily) discovered it.  I’ve learned the lesson in the past to be a “backer-upper”, and am usually pretty good about backing things up. I’m even moving toward having *two* backups of everything, in case one of my external drives fails.
But, wouldn’t you know, the *one* time I download pictures late at night, with plans to back them up in the morning… That morning, I fired up my netbook to do the backup and… it wouldn’t boot.
I’ll spare you the details of the weeks of snatched moments of troubleshooting between busy-ness. Final analysis is that there is a bad sector on my hard drive and the nice folks at Dell are going to replace the drive for me. It should be coming in the mail today, and I can install it and be back up and running (since everything *else* besides those great pictures is either backed up or synced) and the nice folks at “Mom-n-Pop” (0; have the know-how and tools to help me recover those great pics from the damaged drive before I return it to Dell.
So, I is happy.
And, this enforced break from using my computer has taught me two things (I think).
(1) I’m not as dependent on it as I thought, AND I’m more dependent on it than I thought! Meaning, I don’t have as much “needed” school stuff on it as I thought, although our record keeping has suffered sadly. Sorry state homeschool rule-makers! I’ll get that synced to another computer as soon as I can! But- I DO have all our menu plans and grocery list templates and lists of library books on it! We’re really crippled without those, and that coupled with me being *really really* sick lately made for a melt-down disaster here for a couple of weeks at least. REALLY glad to be out of that mess.
(2) I’m going to just hit “publish” when I ramble out a blog post, instead of keeping it tucked away as a draft while I whittle and perfect and check and double check and wonder if I want to share…
I’ve seen a lot of bloggers talk about baring-it-all honesty, and I’ve been on a journey of learning transparency for a few years now, I’m slower at learning it than I like to admit. For so long, I thought that I don’t have an issue with that, that “I don’t struggle with fear of man”, and so on and so on. And in a way, I don’t. I don’t struggle as much with worrying that “so-and-so won’t like me anymore if I share that”, or that I will mar my Spiritual Woman image if I’m honest about my struggles… I’m asocial enough for that not to bother me as much as it seems to bother others, according to things I read. Or maybe I’m just deeper in denial than I realize. I don’t think so though. :0)
But I *have* learned about myself that I hesitate to share things (vulnerabilities) about myself because I don’t want people to get all ooshy gooshy with me, all emotional and “feeling-y” and “oh, poor thing, come cry on my shoulder and let me pat your back” kind of stuff. I see that stuff as enervating, crippling, and trying to hold someone in victimhood, so it really annoys me when someone does it, regardless of how well-meaning they are.
So. Now that I’ve horrified and probably alienated and frightened into silence anyone that’s reading
:0P
and impressed myself with my tangential abilities to go from a bad-sectored hard drive to my (apparently unusual) response to NT interactions, I’ll head off from the computer that aforementioned sweet husband loaned me, and work some more on recovering my house from the post-disaster mess of a sick mama.

Posted on December 16, 2011, in Uncategorized and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 1 Comment.

  1. Yirá Albornoz Cabn:Simplememte increíbleCasi da miedo cuando se escucha el susurro al final, cuando el peluquero pasa la máquina o la tijera también uno se siente raro.Me saco el sombrero frente a esta genialidad

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