Troubled by Abram this morning…
I’m s-l-o-w-l-y reading chronologically through the Bible these days. I thought of tweetng or blogging a thumbnail of what I’ve read, but my pride kind of keeps me from it. (I know, ugh!) I don’t want to advertise just how slowly… but I’m getting over that as the slowness is giving me opportunity to absorb and chew on what I’m reading more than I would if I followed the one-year schedule laid out for me by the plan.
Anyway, I’m in the Genesis ‘teens lately, just finished up Job… I’ve always been deeply impressed by the stories of Abram/Abraham. Wondering just how hard it was for him to pack up and go, whether people gave him a hard time, whether he struggled with feeling aimless and fruitless just meandering about not knowing where he was going… And then the Isaac incident. That gives me chills each and every time. Such a picture of our redemption price- from the Father’s perspective and from Abraham’s! Of course, the picture isn’t complete, no one was ransomed by the sacrifice, and said nonexistent ransomed ones didn’t despise the sacrifice or take it for granted and return to their bondage. But I’m wandering off the point that I was beginning with. (I also wonder each time about Sarah’s whole take on the thing: did she disagree with Abraham? Did she cry and beg and plead with him not to go that morning? Did Abraham even tell her? But that’s off topic too…)
Today, Abram is troubling me. The whole “tell the Egyptians you’re my sister” thing. Well, that I can kind of understand, even though from here in my safe standpoint I could criticise his lack of faith: didn’t he know that God would protect him? But I have enough lack of faith myself to be pulling splinters out of anyone’s eye. But him just (seemingly to me, anyway) sitting back enjoying himself, acquiring masses of wealth as payment for his WIFE being in a harem! Makes me want to call him a pimp and ask God WHY didn’t you revoke your blessing?!?
But I’ve been learning lately about God’s scandalous, terrible forgiveness and grace. A Lot.
But- hang around… I’m NOT finished with this yet, I have a LOT more to say!! But part of my “recovery from perfectionism” includes me just going ahead and posting wherever I am when my time for writing is over, even if it’s not where I want it to be… It’s helping me to see that the world doesn’t come crashing down because it isn’t tweaked just how I want it. So, even though that was really only the preface to what I *want* to say, and I’m a bit embarassed to leave you hanging right there at the ugly part, I’m going to click “publish” right after I quote some of the greatest, most terrible words from the Bible: